‘I don’t stay awake at night wondering what gender your baby is’: Mom shuts down her self-absorbed friend's gender-reveal hype after spending her previous pregnancy getting relentlessly badgered over the baby's ‘big secret’

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
May 4, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Gender reveals are so 2008. A decade ago, Tumblr made them seem like they were all the rage for young, hot moms, but these days, a gender reveal is just a weird excuse to start wildfires, litter colored dust in your local parks, and drive your family and friends completely insane for a few months. Truthfully, nobody cares about the gender of your baby except you. 

Do I sound too harsh?

Well, the woman in this next story came right out and told her self-absorbed friend that her gender reveal hype was outdated and exhausting, saying what we all wish we could when we receive our next gender reveal party invitation. Keep scrolling to RSVP 'No' to this woman's SECOND gender reveal, because apparently the first one wasn't enough to stop the world from turning until this pregnant mama got all the attention she felt she deserved. 

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  • Clearly, I'm not a fan of gender reveal parties. I understand that new parents are excited about their new baby and want to share that feeling with others, but in doing so, a gender reveal party just alienates everyone. With the same odds as heads or tails, a gender reveal party leaves nothing to the imagination and is just a boring way to ruin blue and pink cupcakes…

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITA for telling my friend I don't care about the gender of her baby? My friend Kate (26F) is pregnant with her second child, and to be honest she drove me (29F) absolutely insane when
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  • it came to the "secret gender" of her unborn baby the first time around. She was planning a big reveal with a party for friends and family, but she seemed to be obsessed with me not
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  • knowing over everyone else. Like, she whispered it to several family members when I was standing right next to her once and just gave me this big grin when I asked if I could know as well. After that I refused to ever ask lol.
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  • I'm a school teacher, and when I was pulled for a meeting one day, she went into my classroom (we work together) and told my entire class of second graders the gender and made them
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  • promise not to tell me. This is when I started to wonder why she was singling me out in this way and I remember going home to my husband and telling him it was really weird.
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  • Whenever we would talk about baby stuff (I was also pregnant at that time and openly shared that I was having a girl), she would always stop herself mid-sentence when we were
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  • discussing anything gender-related because she "almost slipped". It's like she thought I spent every waking moment obsessing over the gender, as if I didn't have my own future baby to think about.
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  • Well, she had her big reveal for her little boy and I was there to support her even though it had annoyed me to no end. I was extremely glad it was over with.
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  • Oh Baby B A B V
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  • Fast forward to the other day... she told me she was pregnant again. And she got that same weird grin on her face and said that they're not doing a gender reveal this time, that they're keeping the gender a secret until the baby is born.
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  • I couldn't help it. I rolled my eyes and said something along the lines of, "I'm not doing this again. I don't stay awake at night wondering what gender your baby is." I said it in a somewhat playful tone, but she definitely looked
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  • offended and hasn't talked to me about anything baby-related since. My husband and mom think I'm the AH because she's just excited. I think I had to say it lest I spend the next 9 months. of my life irritated as all hl.
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  • Full_Pace7666 Blunt but I can't say I blame you. I was reading this wondering if there was some reason she was reluctant to share the gender with you over family or whatever, until I got to where she told all of your students. She had no reason to do that. Very weird behavior.
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  • GroovyYaYa I would have said something when she convinced a classroom of second graders to keep a secret from a trusted adult... a secret that did not involve a gift for said adult.
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  • Salty Thing3144. NTA. She sounds very self- absorbed and doesn't understand that the rest of the world is not fascinated by her reproductive choices.
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  • Jouvuilhond Yep.. like really who gives a F.. when did this idiotic gender reveal party crop actually start anyway
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  • Bunny_Bixler99 . "I don't care about gender of your kid. I am curious, though, about the species."
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  • North_Lingonberry_88. Nta. It's either a boy or girl and even then, it can grow up and change that. Who cares.
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  • Gen-Xw.... Girl you are WAY nicer than I would have been, just to have said it playfully. Your mom and husband are not in your shoes, just drop it with them and be glad you don't have to listen to this
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  • bizarrely self involved person for the next nine months. Her behavior WAS weird, and not in a nice way. That's why your spidey senses went off. Trust them and distance yourself from her, I say good riddance.
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  • Tutipuppy Her reaction says more about her sensitivity than your words. You didn't say anything mean, just that you're not obsessed like she is.
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Tags

stay at home mom gender Babies wholesome baby child kid kids relatable friends motherhood moms parenting mommy kiddo family mom parents gender reveal
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